Preseason games mean something to the guys who are playing in them, and the people who work at the arena, and the media that covers day-to-day events of the teams that are involved, and some of the people in the stands. For me — whose job consists in no small part of stuff like this — they mean nothing. I must create my own meaning. Life is what you make of it!
5:55 — On my way to Consol Energy Center for Penguins-Red Wings. However I felt on the ice at Staples Center in June, this is the opposite. I love hockey and I love my job. Just not in late September.
6:15 — Some scalpers a block down Fifth Avenue are yapping because they can’t get $30 for their tickets. People will totally pay $20, though. Totally.
6:18 — There’s a new-ish busker across the street from the arena. His name is Jimmy, and he’s playing “Heart of Gold” on the harmonica and guitar. He seems very nice, unlike Saxophone Guy. Saxophone Guy is very, very mean. I recently had a gift-wrapped chance to throw his instrument into the Allegheny River, and I blew it.
Because it’s Pittsburgh, there’s a construction project near the arena that just started and will last for months. It leads to this confusing sign.
The Souper Bowl (pun) is one of a few restaurants immediately across the street from the arena. It’s across the street from this sign, actually. It does not have a parking lot. Where is the arrow supposed to take people? If any PennDot employees are reading this, please let me know the thought process behind this and several other of your decisions. I have a list.
6:20 — I pick up my credential at the administrative entrance. This has been waiting for me since a team scrimmage on Saturday morning. I did not feel like going to that, and thus did not pick it up.
I wonder how much money I could get if, for tonight only, I sell my press pass to someone. The Penguins’ communication department would not be pleased by this, but I have Generic White-Boy face, so finding someone who can pass for me is at least possible. I settle on something less than $30.
6:40 — After no sign of the inflatable Camry from last season — it was typically docked near the press elevator — I make my way up to the box. Here is an old photo:
Wes Crosby, who covers the Penguins for NHL.com, is already there and in the seat next me. He has a new computer. It’s a very nice MacBook Air. (UPDATE: Wes has informed me that it is in fact a MacBook Pro.) I congratulate him on this, and he says thanks. Wes’ old computer was very bad, and he’s a nice guy who deserved a new one. Good for him. Send your regards if you can.
6:50 — There was a pretty serious shake-up in the hockey ops department in the offseason. It did not extend to the team’s warmup choices. It’s the same four EDM songs and mid-period Rage Against the Machine from 2013-14. Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” is the lone addition. She is really something.
7:00 — Thankfully, the preseason “Heinz Ketchup Red-Zone Goodtime Countdown™” to face-off is a lot shorter than usual. Penguins announcer Mike Lange has some sort of pre-recorded intro that I don’t hear because I’m wearing headphones. One of them recently stopped producing sound. Aren’t Apple’s earbuds awful? I think they are. I bet Samsung people have something obnoxious to say about that.
7:23 — With the first goal of the game, Red Wings forward Tomas Tatar rudely interrupts a 15-minute conversation I’d been having. It dawns on me that the Wings are wearing their serifed training camp jerseys. I like those.
7:29 — Beau Bennett ties the game for Pittsburgh. “Song 2” plays after the goal, as has intermittently been the case at Penguins games for 17 years.
7:33 — The team appears to have altered its puck shuffle video-board game. Last season, you typically had to track the “biscuit” (hockey term) under one of three Zambonis. Tonight, it was goalie masks. I have calls out to the Penguins for comment on this matter
7: 36 — I listen to part of Howard Stern’s tribute to Eric The Actor.
7:46 — Sometimes last season, there’d be a vegetable tray near the other press-box snacks. I’ve recently cut back on carbs, so I’m hoping to see those nutritious treats! They aren’t there, so I eat a small amount of popcorn instead. I briefly consider ladling myself a bowl of nacho cheese. It would be low in carbs, you see.
A media member barehands some pretzels out of a community tin.
7:54 — I make plans to head downstairs to watch the Pirates-Braves game at the second intermission.
8:28 — Pavel Datsyuk apparently scored at some point. I’ve only just noticed it.
8:32 — They still light mups before Penguins power plays. That song is already nearly two years old. Life is passing quickly.
8:35 — Second intermission. Still no sign of the Camry. The coupon-dropping blimp is a holdover, though.
The Dairy Queen “Dance For A Dilly Bar” content passes without someone doing “Gangnam Style.” This may not have happened at all last season, and makes me feel great. The finalists are two groups of little girls, which seems mean. Why make the crowd choose? My good feeling disappears.
8:40 — After spending several minutes catching up on my “writing,” I see that Penguins defenseman Robert Bortuzzo seems to have made a borderline hit. It will be the first of 10,000 leaguewide over the next several months. I am preemptively tired of talking about them.
8:51 — I talk to Crosby about his new computer for a little longer.
8:52 — It dawns on me that, for a second straight season, I’m sitting directly in the front of the real-time stats crew. They’re the guys that track who is on the ice, decides what counts as a shot, and so on. Sometimes they’d argue about the puck shuffle game, which was a lot of fun.
8:55 — Shortly after the start of the third period, Andrew McCutchen puts the Pirates up 1-0 on the Braves. I guess I’m not going downstairs to watch it.
8:58 — Fight? Not really.
9:13 — I went downstairs! “What do you say we take a relaxed attitude toward work and watch the baseball match?”
9:24 — Game over. The Red Wings won 2-1. The game-winning goal was that one I missed.
9:37 — I file this diary to the Sporting News editorial desk, which receives it with much acclaim (I assume). See you on Oct. 9.
