For the 28 franchises we have two federations Get’s make a clean break of it and get rid of leagues). In the Atlantic Federation, all 14 teams are in the Eastern time zone, divided into two neodivisions we call unions. In the National Pastime Union there are these seven teams: the two from New York, the three others on the Eastern Seaboard (Boston, Philadelphia and Baltimore), plus Pittsburgh and Cleveland, two close geographical rivals, which have, cleverly, never been allowed to meet each other on a baseball diamond in the 20th century.
And then, in the International Travelers Union: the two Florida teams and the two Canadian teams, in addition to Detroit (which borders Canada), Atlanta and Cincinnati.
In the Pacific Federation, first we have the Forever Heartland Union: the two Chicago teams, Milwaukee just up the lake, the two Missouri teams and Minnesota and Colorado.
Finally, the Diamond Sunset Union includes the two Texas teams, the four California teams and Seattle up the coast.
If you can configure a better arrangement than this, good for you. But considering what’s crucial, time zones and natural rivalries, I don’t think you can. Of course, I will admit that I have not checked with either the Chicago Tribune or the Flat Earth Society, baseball’s preferred arbiters in matters of geography.
Fixing the antiquated schedule is much more important. The schedule is too repetitive and too linear. It simply doesn’t work any longer for citizens who have grown up with antibiotics, shopping malls and remote control. So, you ask, how should the schedule run? Thank you. Here’s how:
First, stop the season in July for a week of Festival Baseball. This will include a nearly traditional-type All-Star series between the four unions-the Pastimes, Travelers Heartlands and Sunsets-as well as a one-game, very-big-money showdown between America’s best players and Asia’s best. Also in Festival Baseball week there will be minor-league championships, home-run contests, Little League championships, softball, stickball, beerball and anything else that celebrates the grand old game.
Back to the regular season: each team will play only 135 games, 72 against its intraunion rivals, 42 against the other seven teams in the Federation and 21 against inter-Federation teams, which means this phase will happily conclude on Labor Day. Except for the fans of the few teams with a real chance to win, no one ever goes out and buys baseball tickets once the kids go back to school. Baseball must finn a way to win September back, and here is how baseball does this:
The Scramble.
What?
The September Scramble.
After Labor Day, 12 teams qualify for The Scramble. These include the winners and runners-up of the four unions. Then the two teams with the next best records. And finally, among those not yet chosen, the two teams with the best first-half record and best second-half record. The dozen are seeded, then placed, six apiece, in two Scramble groups, known as the Pennant Heat and the Flag Heat. Twenty games will be played in each heat-five four-game series-with the top three seeds in each heat playing three of the five series games at home.
We even have something nicer for the Sour 16 teams, the stiffs left over. They go into two loser brackets, the Also-Ran Bunch and the Wait-Til-Next-Year Gang. They play mostly natural rivals and inter-Federation teams they did not happen to have been scheduled against during the season. So all 28 teams will end up playing 155 games, thus keeping statistics as pure as the driven snow and keeping Rotisserie Federations as popular as they are today.
Even more important, the country would be positively mesmerized in September by The Scramble. Most of the 12 qualifiers would stay in contention all month, finishing up on the final Sunday in September. Best-of-five playoffs would follow between the winner in the Flag Heat and the runner-up in the Pennant Heat and vice versa. Then, the best-of-seven World Series, just like in Granddad’s time.
The television networks would be standing in line to buy the package-Festival, Scramble, Playoffs and Series-for double or triple what it mugged CBS for last time. Baseball players would become popular national figures again-especially if they hiked up their pants again, showing off a nice curve of calf, and shaved off the stubble. And Americans everywhere would send thank-you notes and flower sprays to the owners for making their summers more exciting and Septembers more wonderful than ever they dared dream. In fact, the National Pastime would be so successful that the owners could then actually figure out whether or not to use the designated hitter.
