Writing in the National Post in Canada, for instance, there was Cam Cole, whose column, headlined “ Why the New York Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez’s latest apology comes up empty,” was actually pretty level-headed by A-Rod coverage standards, saying that the letter “wasn’t entirely disingenuous.”
Right above that line, Cole wrote, “Absent a handwriting expert, it is impossible to say whether that was A-Rod’s own penmanship,” noting the one way in which a handwriting expert might — might — actually be useful.
Stateside, handwriting experts were used to much more absurd ends, with The Wall Street Journal and NJ.com enlisting graphologists — a term that implies some kind of scientific gravitas — to try to get inside Rodriguez’s head. You want to talk about “ A-Fraud,” do you? This coverage showed what real fraud is.
The handwriting analyst contacted by the Journal, Paula A. Sassi, “a certified master graphologist in professional practice for 35 years,” immediately concluded that A-Rod “writes like a girl.”
Here are some of the highlight words and phrases used by Sassi to describe Rodriguez after looking at his letter: “strong-willed, independent ego,” “protective of personal information,” “very self-conscious,” “very sensitive to work criticism,” “covering his tush,” “holding people at arm’s distance,” “very secretive,” “feeling much more positive.”
At NJ.com, Marc J. Seifer, who is the author of a book on handwriting analysis, described A-Rod’s writing as “so friendly,” concluding that “people would naturally be attracted to such an individual. This is a real sign of charisma.” Also, “Alex cares about others and cares how he is perceived.”
Meanwhile, calligrapher Terry Antoniewicz told NJ.com, “He shows signs of high intellect, but also someone who has plans.” Antoniewicz also said Rodriguez’s “informality indicated to me another level of trying to show his sincere honesty.”
A-Rod is trying to show his sincere honesty while covering his tush. He has real charisma and cares about others, but keeps people at arm’s length with his secretive nature. He cares how he is perceived, but is sensitive to criticism.
It’s strange, because these words all were typed, but they all appear to indicate people who are trying to hide something, namely that they are practitioners of pseudoscience. The good news is, by this time next week, there should be some squatchologists on hand in Tampa to determine whether A-Rod is, in fact, Bigfoot.
